I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
