I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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