just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
