He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
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first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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