I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize