i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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