I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
