I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
