I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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