bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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