There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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