You really coming over, don't trick.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
