Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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