Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
