her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
FUCK WHALES
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
