i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
