he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
