He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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