tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Boobs speak an international language.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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