i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
