I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he shaved USA in his pubs
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
