I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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