does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
