Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He kissed a someone with a penis
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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