i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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