i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
