Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize