Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
