Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
