fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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