doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she looked like the before picture.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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