he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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