He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
