oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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