Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
