you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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