stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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