sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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