Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i will never coherently bang her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
