I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
