I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
