took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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