Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
