Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
