like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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