New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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