I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
