Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
