new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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