I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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