My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
