i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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