I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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