Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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