but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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