i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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