On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
