i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize