What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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