He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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