No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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