I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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