How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
